It was when most people in my side of the world were asleep when I finally understood the sign that for the past couple or so years was telling me it was the right time to let go of that something I had kept hidden for the past six years. All I could think of while sitting there, feeling the feelings that were expected but not readied for, was that it was real this time. I couldn’t stop it, nor would I want to. I don’t think it would be fair for anybody to think of doing so. Ironically, that song I loved played. It made me smile a bit to myself despite the feelings and the wetness on my cheeks. I felt empty. Was it for the best? The song told me so. So did the bitterness that came when reality came crashing in. So what to do now? Move on, I guess.
Not a normally boring day
June 18, 2010 at 3:00 am (blah)
Tags: my day, problems
My day got somewhat dramatic even before it officially started.
First, it took me almost thirty minutes to get a taxi. Of course, it meant I would be late for work. For the third time this month.
Second, I gave a complete stranger a lift (because she did not set off the danger alarm bell in my paranoid head). I learned that said stranger was sick and was going to a local TV station to appeal to the public for help with her medical bills, and that she was doing everything by herself because there was no one to go with her.
Third, I learned that the taxi driver was a battered husband and he dared not hit his abusive wife back because he was afraid of going to jail. Their argument yesterday was the final nail in the coffin. The wife left him, taking with her the kids and his savings.
Fourth, a cousin texted me, and I gathered from her messages that she was having some problems. Which worried me, naturally. She just gave birth a few months ago, and one can never tell what a distraught new mother would decide to do.
Really, when I complained that I live a rather boring existence, meeting distressed people and knowing that the people close to me are troubled were not the answers I expected.
The traffic light’s still yellow
June 17, 2010 at 6:44 am (blah)
Tags: choices, decisions
At which point would you say that you’ve finally reached the crossroads of your life? Is it when it finally dawned on you, while you are looking at some old photos, that maybe – just maybe – you’ve already spent (and probably wasted) half of your lifetime? Is it when you see that your friends have finally made something out of their lives and are now living their dreams but you’re still stuck at the same point where you started almost ten years ago? Or is it when you have an epiphany in the middle of a rather boring day that reality has been chipping away a little of your conviction and optimism and hope and dream every day, leaving you more jaded and disillusioned than you actually tell yourself?
I don’t know why but I have this niggling suspicion that I have already passed my crossroads. I used to have great dreams. They were a bit grandiose, too idealistic, and wildly romantic, but they were dreams nonetheless. Now I can only call myself pragmatic and passive. I wonder what would have happened had I taken a different route back when I still had the luxury to do so. Not that I’m saying I’m stuck to following only one path now. I still have choices. But the thing is, I think a large chunk of my courage and youthful disregard for risks is lying somewhere near that overlooked crossroads.
If I reached another crossroads again, I wonder if I would ever spare a thought or two to what and where the byways may lead me instead of going directly to the oft traveled road.
NRT, or a weekend spent with friends
June 12, 2010 at 8:12 pm (trip)
Tags: NRT, trip
So we finally had our NRT two weekends ago. It was tiring (I bet some of us would not agree with that adjective, preferring to use a stronger word instead), but we did have fun.
We set off on Saturday morning instead of on Friday night, after work. Our first stop was at Danao for some breakfast. We then went to some church that has a hundred or so busts of persons I couldn’t even begin to know. I was not really interested so I didn’t look closely at even one of the busts. Our next stop was at Bogo for lunch. We had a short hysterical moment afterwards when couldn’t seem to find our way to the port. Bogo surprisingly has a lot of streets that if you aren’t familiar with the place you’d find yourself heading to the opposite direction you were going, which we did when we find ourselves at a dead-end, in some port or something. Several small chats with friendly locals later, we were pointed to the right direction. Before we continued on to the port in Hagnaya, we stopped at this place where there is a really big statue of a saint (or of the Virgin Mary, I wasn’t sure. And in case you are wondering, I am Catholic – Roman Catholic – albeit a non-practicing one). I never did get around to asking Ley the name of the place, but it is apparently a popular place where people even from far off places come to visit.
Don’t really know the name of this place.
Anyway, we reached Hagnaya, bought our tickets, and about two hours later boarded that boat that would take us to Bantayan. It was sweltering hot that it made our skin icky with sweat and my headache and back was killing me but I was confident I’d at least enjoy myself. And enjoy myself I did. I am not much of a beach bum, but I could really never say no to beautiful beaches, which Bantayan has. After we settled in our “house” (we rented ourselves a house just outside the gate of Sugar Beach because all the other beach-front rooms were occupied) and after we settled a minor snag, we changed into our bathing gears and succumbed to the call of the white sand and clear water. Well, except for Rhea who spent her time taking pictures and talking to strangers who were building sandcastles instead.
The beach. Who could say no to this?
Never mind the sun (and me). Just look at the white sand
and the sparkling water.
When dinnertime came we had to tear ourselves from the water so we could go hunting for food. Line was hoping there was an establishment that accepted credit cards so we could have a large meal. Alas, none of the restaurants we asked, not even the one that had a fancy French name and looked posh enough it intimidated me, accepted credit cards. So we just had to make do with roast chicken (not that there was something wrong with that – roast chicken will always be delicious) and “puso.” At one of the barbecue stalls, there was this one bat that planted itself directly above the grill. It did not mind at all when people cooed and took pictures of it. In fact, I suspected it enjoyed the attention because it would sometimes turn to the direction of a camera when one was pointed at it and would even stretch out a wing, like it was displaying itself.
After a rather fun dinner, some of us went off to the beach to spend some time looking at the stars and enjoy the fresh air. We didn’t make a bonfire, like we did during our SRT, but I doubt we’d be allowed to anyway. And the breeze didn’t make it a good idea to have a fire nearby. So we just contented ourselves with the silence and some small talks in between. When exhaustion could no longer be put off, we trudged back to the house (with the exception of Candice and Raff who decided to sleep in Jenny’s tent that we erected earlier on the beach) and settled in for the night, promising ourselves to get up early the next day to enjoy the sea water again before we left the island.
We left Bantayan around 11:30 in the morning and decided to have lunch in Bogo again. This time, there was not a repeat of the previous day’s mini-tour of the city as some of us memorized which turns to take to get to the correct road. We took the Trans-central highway (which was a longer way to the city, by the way) because some wanted to try the zipline in Balamban (I think the name’s KM33, couldn’t remember correctly though and I cannot be arsed to research it right now). We stopped along the way to take some pictures. And, oh, we also stopped by at Molobolo Spring. It was very crowded since so we didn’t stay long, just enough to take pictures.
Somewhere in Balamban, along the Trans-central highway.
Jen, surveying her vast domain – er, looking at whatever it is found below.
Group picture, not in a cemetery this time.
At Molobolo Spring.
KM33 Zipline
Only seven brave souls zipped at KM33: Jen, Rhea, Candice, Raff, Yam, Uzi, and Vet. The other end of the zipline is the structure encircled in the picture. From where I was standing to take the picture, it was a bit far. I really didn’t relish hanging several hundred feet from the ground and supported only by some cables and ropes and safety harness so I had to say no, thank you very much. After the adventurous souls had been appeased, we headed back to the city and to the end of our NRT.
In all, I couldn’t really say it was more fun than our SRT. How could it when we hadn’t even taken a single “class picture” in a cemetery and only visited one church? But we did have our fun. After all, no matter how wonderful the places, it’s who you were with that would make the trip all the more meaningful, right? Right.
If you want to see more pictures of our NRT, you can visit Ley‘s, Line‘s, Yam‘s, and Vet‘s sites.
My top 5 I’d-give-anything-for-them-to-come-true wishes
June 12, 2010 at 7:22 pm (blah)
Tags: wish list
We all have wishes. Because we don’t lose anything if we wished for the impossible, some of us get very creative and wishful when we wish. Since I’m just like everyone else, I, too, have those wishes. I know they possibly cannot come true (not in this universe at least), but there’s no harm in wishing still, right? So, here’s the top five of them:
5. Wings. White and fully functional.
I really really want one. It would be convenient. If I have wings, I won’t need money for gas or for bus/jeep/taxi fare. I could go wherever I wanted to anytime, and I don’t have to worry about getting hit by a speeding car or a drunk running wild and loose on the streets. They have to be white because I want to appear mystical and out of this world. I surely can’t pull off that look with bubblegum pink wings now, can I? Besides, I don’t really like pink.
4. Invisibility Cloak.
Harry Potter has one, I want one, too. I won’t use it to spy on people, of course, even on people I like. I’m not a pervert! I would use it to hide from people. Really. There are times when I want to be left alone. With an invisibility cloak, I could be left alone even in a room full of people. I would slink into a corner under my fantastic cloak anytime, and voila! Instant privacy.
3. Magic bag/Bottomless bag. Just like the one Hermione Granger had in Deathly Hallows.
Think of the possibilities, folks! This bag would give “traveling light” a new meaning. I’m sure every traveler worth his salt (or sugar, if you prefer it) would want a bag like this. So whenever the wanderlust strikes, you no longer have to worry about carrying too many bags and stuff. Besides that, you will only need to spend five minutes at the most to pack. You can just stuff whatever you think you’ll need in the bag and you’re done. Heck, you can even stuff half of your wardrobe in the bag and there would still be plenty of space for you books, shoes, toiletries, comfy blanket, favorite pillows, and sports equipment.
2. Self-replenishing wallet.
I saw this one in a local TV program (a sitcom called Okay Ka, Fairy Ko, starring Vic Sotto) a long time ago. Whenever this wallet is opened, there would always – and I mean always – be money inside. If I can have this wallet, I won’t have to worry about money anymore.
1. A lamp. With a genie inside.
Yeah, you guessed right. If I can have a lamp with a wishes-granting nice ol’ genie inside, I get to have three more wishes. Or more wishes, if I can find a way around the “you only get three wishes” rule. Hmm, but I need to be crafty for this. I don’t think it’s that easy to outsmart a genie. Do you? Luckily, there is no way I can be given a magical lamp anywhere in the future. Otherwise, I’d have already been splitting my head open as of now trying to find ways to trick the genie into giving me endless wishes.
fleeting passions 
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