Somehow, I miss going to bed before twelve midnight. I miss having a staring contest with the ceiling (which I never won) while waiting for sleep to come. I miss trying to force myself to sleep, sometimes by counting sheep (which did not help one bit, by the way), sometimes by bribing myself, sometimes by threatening my body I’d kick it, mentally, of course, and sometimes by convincing myself to just sleep already because staying up way past my bedtime just won’t do. But things changed. My bedtime has become obsolete, and I have become a quasi insomniac. Staying up until the time when most people are starting to get ready for their day is something that I have gotten used to in the past months. I do it even on weekdays. On weekends, when I feel I can, I sometimes don’t sleep at all. I’m not really an insomniac, and I am not trying to make myself into one. It’s just that I have this conviction of sort that sleeping is actually overrated ( I know I am wrong about this, health buffs, so please don’t go throwing flames my way). Rather than spend those three to four hours sleeping, why not use them to accomplish other important things instead? So, uhm, what have I accomplished so far, seeing that I have continued with my far-from-healthy nocturnal habit? Not much, actually. But I do feel this sense of satisfaction in the knowledge I am wide awake when most people in my side of the Earth, even my kitties, are dead to the world. It’s more like a folly than an accomplishment, but it sure delights me. Beats me, though. Oh, sure, I feel sleepy at work most of the time, but it’s nothing that coffee, mugs of it, cannot take care of. The dizzy spells that I get? They don’t bother me at all. And it’s an added bonus that I don’t get the panda eyes I was so sure of getting, what with only two to three hours of sleep every day. I know I might someday regret abusing my body like this. But in all honesty I cannot bring myself to think of that proverbial bridge because I have not yet seen it. I guess I will only be forced to consider that bridge if and when I get there, not before then. I am, after all, trying to live my life one day at a time.
Just another day
October 15, 2009 at 5:23 am (blah)
Tags: blah
I’m bored and I’m sleepy. Worst, I realize that lately my brain has this little habit of malfunctioning on me. When I need it most to be cooperative, to be a good little brain that it should be and help me with my work, it instead would whine and spazz out and go on expend energy on unimportant things. Like now, when my eyes land on my phone on my table, my little whiner of a brain tells me to give it a name. What the heck? So, yeah, my phone’s officially Sami to me now (and Sami has definitely become, if it’s of any interest to you, a ‘he’). Sami should have been called L, for my latest obsession (yes, I’m still in my L-obsessed mode now), but then, the mushy thing residing in my skull suggests to reserve that name for the ‘something’ I plan on buying hopefully soon. I know naming inanimate objects AND assigning them gender just sound so off, but hey, mind over matters, yes? So I can hardly be blamed even if I am an accessory to this… whole thing. And yes, I’m starting to space out again. I really should get a new brain.
Off tangent
October 12, 2009 at 5:53 am (blah)
Tags: blabber
It is a Monday, and an unwelcome one at that. Sadly, my brain refuses to budge from its comfortable perch on the edge of slumberland. My head is buzzing from the cold medicine and my tummy is aching from the combination of the too sweet choco rumble (that I just ate) and the spicy noodles (that I’m still eating) that make up my lunch. Healthy food, what joy! But honestly, all I want right now is a comfortable mattress and a warm blanket. My mind is off chasing imaginary rabbits again and won’t be back for quite some time yet. My head is starting to ache, again (probably because of the chocolate rolls that contain alcohol. drat!). And here I am thinking of munching on some peanuts after I finish the noodles. Can I start my week on a Wednesday instead?
fleeting passions 