December 17, 2009 at 6:27 am (blah)
Tags: acheron, L, totoro
World peace? Equality among men? Better living conditions for everyone? Nah, not really. I mean, it’d be nice if they’d come true. But come on, it’d be like wishing to travel back in time, right? Right.
What I really want for Christmas is this
and this
and this (HB)
Happy Christmas, everyone!
December 17, 2009 at 2:30 am (blah)
Tags: rambling
It’s amazing how a few words so carelessly stringed together – in jest, perhaps, on the part of one who conjured them – could affect me to the point that I would want nothing but to crawl inside a hole and emerge only when I’ve forgotten enough about that sentence. So there I was, sitting and hugging myself, not quite believing my reaction to that sentence. I scared myself back there, because I was suddenly, for a moment, overwhelmed by an emotion I didn’t know I was capable of feeling. It was so disturbing that when I dragged myself to sleep at quarter past four in the morning, I was still somewhat numbed emotionally. I was not really sure I slept at all. I do, however, remember tossing and turning all the time, and grabbing Sami to look at the time. The next thing I know, my mother was poking her head through the door, telling me it was time to get up. Now, I’m still feeling a residue of that awful emotion from last night. I know I’m paranoid and morbid, but this is something different. No wonder I’m feeling colder than usual. Thinking of food just makes me want to throw up. But I’m not really sick. We’ll, emotionally, perhaps, but I’ll get over this – and I’ll live.
Really, I just want to escape, though I know escapism is not a good answer to most problems. But most of the time it helps me get through the day. What I am going through right now might only be a molehill compared to other people’s mountains, but I really don’t care. It is selfish, yes, but I’m not a martyr. It is during a time like this that I want to be selfish, bitch at something and nothing in particular, and whine at the unfairness of it all. But I know I would really not do them all, because at the end of the day, after I’ve thought about things some more, I would regret ever losing my composure and what sense I still have left holding me together.
It’s just a phase, yeah, and I’ll move on and live. Tough life.
December 15, 2009 at 3:50 am (blah)
Tags: mood
I am not a morning person. When I wake up in the morning, I always wake up on the wrong side of the bed. So, I hate people who are cheery before they have taken their bath, brushed their teeth, or have their first mug of coffee. Unfortunately for me, almost everyone around me – my mother, my niece, my brother, even the cats! – is cheerful on most mornings. But what can I do? I cannot bite their heads off because they don’t do anything wrong.
I am not a Monday person, too. Yeah, some rainy days and most Mondays never fail to let me down (thanks for the line, Karen!). And, *cough*, I am also not a Sunday person. There’s just something about Sundays, especially when there’s still sunlight, that doesn’t sit well with me. Could I, perhaps, be turning into a creature of the night? Oh, fie. Pfft.
But honestly, I swear I’m slowly turning into a grump each day.
November 16, 2009 at 7:33 am (obsession)
Tags: coffee, David Pack, Milo
Aside from caffeine, a good book can be counted on to keep me awake for hours. If mixed, the combination of the two is even more effective, guaranteed to make me ignore slumberland, even if it marches up to me, steps on all my toes, kicks me in the shins, and pokes me in the eyes. There are times, though, when neither, or even the two combined, won’t work. When I’ve gone on for days with only what little sleep I allow myself, no amount of caffeine and no book, however exciting, can keep me from falling on my face. Right now, though, I’m inhaling my second mug (a combination of Nescafe 3n1 coffee mix and Milo that I’ve come to favor lately) for the day, and I couldn’t be happier. And, oh, David Pack’s I Just Can’t Let Go doubles the effect of coffee and energy drink on my system. I just love the way he sang the song. Heh, I’ve gone off on a tangent, I know, but I have this need to insert somewhere in this paragraph that I now absolutely love David Pack. Yeah, yeah, he’s almost as old as my father, but who cares? He’s got great voice, and I have this special weakness for guys with great voice. 
November 9, 2009 at 6:29 am (blah)
Tags: awkward talk, family
The other day, I had this conversation about pretty anime guys with 6-year-old Nikolai (the topic was her choice, not mine!). As she was more of an anime addict than me, I could only relate with the characters in Fushigi Yuugi, one of her current obsessions (my, but she’s starting to take after me in this obsession thing). Obviously, she has gotten over the pretty guys in Yamato Nadeshiko, and since she was no longer interested in the boys, and since I am not familiar with the characters in the other animes she knows, I had no other choice but to name the guys in FY that I found cute. So, we unanimously selected Tamahome and Hotohori. Although I found Nakago pretty, I purposely did not include him because he was one of the evil guys. But weird Nikolai did not have the same hesitation as me, and innocently told me Nakago was much prettier. Ugh. So then I had to point out that he was evil, and that fact should lessen his appeal. Guess what Nikolai said? She only shrugged and said “I like bad guys.” Did she even know how that statement could be interpreted if spoken by an older person? Obviously not. I really felt evil then, and that I was the one who corrupted her innocent mind. She did not notice (for how could a baby like her notice?) my sudden unease because she just gave me a wide smile when I croaked a somewhat shocked “What?!” at her. Gad.
Miz Greeny's corner to look paranoid and unconcerned.
